Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Piff the Magic Dragon Comedic Magician Tricks Heidi Klum And Kiss Her On The Lips

Comedic Magician Tricks Heidi Klum And Kiss Her On The Lips In America's Got Talent

Heidi Klum helps a comedic magician and his dog, Mr. Pipple during their act. Watch him steal a kiss from Heidi Klum and get the Golden Buzzer from Neil Patrick Harris, earning a spot at Radio City Music Hall!

John van der Put (born 9 June 1980), known as Piff the Magic Dragon, is a magician and comedian from the United Kingdom. He currently lives in Las Vegas with Mr Piffles, his magic performing Chihuahua.

Van der Put grew up in South East London. After University, Van der Put began his career in IT before moving into magic. After many years of corporate gigs, he developed Piff the Magic Dragon.

Game of Thrones Spoiler - Jon Snow Final scene funny extended cut and theories

Why did Jon Snow wait in line at the Apple Store ?

For The Watch !

Jon Snow knows nothing

Ygritte says "You know nothing, Jon Snow" a whopping 19 times in the books.

Tin Man Syndrome - RadioPaedia X-ray and CT scan of Ectopia cordis interna : Age of Tin Man

There was a chest extra doing the rounds that showed no visible heart shadow. Here it is :

AP Chest Radiograph of Tin Man Syndrome

It was posted by Radiopaedia, the radiologist community website in April 2015. They even had lateral view X-ray and also had a CT scan of the abdomen to show that the heart was actually located in the abdomen.

Van Halen and the "No brown M & Ms" clause - read the fine print of any contract (Terms and Conditions apply)

The rock band Van Halen had a clause in their concert rider stipulating that there should be kept in their dressing room a bowl of M and Ms with no brown M and M's.

For those who don't know what M and M's are, they are small chocolate candies coated in a layer of coloured sugar. The name stood for “Mars & Murrie” the co-creators of the candy.

The clause, their singer David Lee Roth later explained, was to make sure that the concert arrangements were being followed to precision, especially since they had specific requirement s for the light and sound and safety requirements. They had previously been an incident where they had electrocution and damage to their equipment due to incorrect specifications and safety procedures.

If the bowl of M&Ms was present, then the band members could safely assume the other, legitimate, items in the technical rider were being fulfilled to their satisfaction. Conversely, if the bowl was missing, or brown M&M's were present, then the band members would be within their rights to have the venue inspect the work, ask it be redone, etc

Zookepers recreate Jurassic Zookeeper meme - Jurassic World scene with Chriss Pratt and raptors

Jurassic World : the new sequel of the Jurassic Park and The Lost World movie series had a spectacular opening this month and kept up to people's expectations.

One iconic scene which came out in the trailer was actor Chris Pratt "taming" three raptors holding out his arms.

Zookeepers and pet owners around the world loved that scene and have recreated it with whatever animals they could get hold of, from chickens to tigers to rhinos to dolphins to quokas.

Stroop Effect, XKCD comics and The BDLPSWDKS Effect

An XKCD comic poking fun at comibations of scientific effects

XKCD is a very popular webcomic which makes lots of nerd jokes and meta humour. It is by a former NASA engineer called Randall Munroe. It is basically a stick-figure comic strip featuring humour about technology, science, mathematics and relationships. A new one published thrice a week.

The Stroop effect refers to the phenomenon in which it is easier to name the color of the ink in which a word is written when the word refers to the same color as the ink than when the word refers to a different color.

This is referenced by the stick figure diving out faster if the driver screams "red!" than if the driver screams "green!", as the firetruck is red and therefore it may create a moment of confusion for the person if the driver shouts "green!".

The Stroop effect makes it difficult for a person who knows to read the language to name the color when doing it quickly. For reference, here is the Stroop effect in Russian. It works only on those who can read Russian.

Посмотрите на картинку и назвать цвета они написаны. Не сказать, что написанные слова

Coming back to XKCD, if you find that the XKCD comic jokes are going over your head, this wiki based website should help explain it to you.

Singing Happy Birthday in Public is Really Copyright Infringement

The ever present, evergreen "Happy Birthday to You" song is said to be under copyright. Any public singing of the song, or displaying of the song on TV or radio can be done only after obtaining permission and paying licensing fees to Warner-Chappell Music, a divison of Warner brothers.

Happy Birthday song is under copyright - says Warner-Chappell - but it is NOT really

The copyright of the song continues to be enforced and Warner Brothers continues to collect more than $2 million each year in royalties.

This is a true story, verified on snopes, not just an urban legend.

Happy Birthday is Really copyrighted.

There is no doubt about that.

But is it really a real copyright ?

In recent years, some legal scholars have pointed out a number of potential problems with Warner/Chappell's claims to copyright ownership of "Happy Birthday to You," namely that there is little or no evidence that Patty Smith Hill actually wrote the lyrics to the song, that the first authorized publication of "Happy Birthday to You" bore an improper copyright notice (resulting in forfeiture of copyright protection), and that the copyright renewals filed in 1963 by Summy-Birchard covered only particular arrangements of the song and not the song itself.

In June 2013, a film company working on a documentary about "Happy Birthday to You" filed a class action lawsuit which seeks to invalidate Warner/Chappell's claim to copyright ownership of the song and force the company to return millions of dollars they have collected over the years for wrongfully asserting copyright ownership

Do you know what this would mean ? Every restaurant in the world would be singing "Happy Birthday" instead of some lame locally made up song. We would be hearing "Happy Birthday" at every TV show birthday party! That song will inundate society more than it already does. At present, many restaurants make up their own "Happy Birthday" songs to avoid copyright issues.

According to United States copyright law in United States Code, Title 17 §106, authors of works such as musical compositions have the exclusive right "to perform the copyrighted work publicly." In United States Code, Title 17 §101, the law defines publicly performing a work as "to perform or display it at a place open to the public or at any place where a substantial number of persons outside of a normal circle of a family and its social acquaintances is gathered."

Additionally, United States Code Title 17, §110(4) states that singing the song among a group of people "without any direct or indirect commercial advantage" will not constitute infringement either. But keep in mind: "indirect commercial advantage" is very broad. Courts have found that restaurants, camps, and other venues benefit indirectly from performances of songs like Happy Birthday. Unless the song has been licensed in these situations, it's infringement.

This means that if you sing Happy Birthday to your family at home, you're probably not committing copyright infringment. However, if you do it in an restaurant — and if the restaurant hasn't already worked out a deal with ASCAP — you may be engaging in copyright infringement.

The website UnHappyBirthday.com tells you exactly how to deal with this situation

How Can I Help Stop Infringement?

The best way to stop infringement is to tell the authorities and the owners so that they can follow up and arrange for a license and for royalties to be paid. Licenses for Happy Birthday are controlled by ASCAP. While monetary royalties will be negligible for a single restaurant performance, it is the principle that is at stake.

If you have seen someone singing Happy Birthday in a restaurant, a park, or at a school, you should tell ASCAP so that they can arrange for a license. If you are an offender, you should apologize and offer to pay whatever is due — a nickel, a quarter, a dollar — whatever ASCAP demands.

There is an overwhelming amount of copyright infringement of Happy Birthday. Let's right the balance and tell ASCAP about every one of these violations!

There are many ways to get in contact with ASCAP:

Email
licensing@ascap.com
Mailing Address
ASCAP - New York
One Lincoln Plaza
New York, NY 10023
Phone
1-800-505-4052

It would also be a good idea to keep the song's owner — Time Warner — in the loop. Here is their contact information:

Mailing Address
Time Warner Inc.
One Time Warner Center
New York, NY 10019-8016
Phone
1-212-484-8000

If you're going to send a message, here's a sample letter. (Before sending such a letter, you should know that some restaurants, nightclubs, etc., pay for blanket ASCAP catalogue licenses that might exempt patrons from copyright liability for singing during dinner.) You'll want to modify yours to include correct details on the infringement:

Dear ASCAP,

The copyright status of "Happy Birthday To You" and the law
related to public performances of copyrighted works have recently been
brought to my attention. I am very concerned by the public's apparent
disregard for copyright law demonstrated by rampant infringement of
"Happy Birthday To You."

It is with this in mind that I wish to bring to your attention a
recent unauthorized public performance:

 -->> WHEN (e.g., December 10, 2004)
 -->> WHERE (e.g., at the Vol De Nuit at 148 West 4th Street in New York)
 -->> WHO (e.g., a group of patrons and the barstaff)

I hope that you are able to quickly follow up on this and to enforce
your copyright and extract the necessary royalties or licenses from
the offenders.

It is, in part, because of your lax and selective enforcement of your
copyright that most people do not realize that "Happy Birthday To You"
is even copyrighted at all.

In the event that you choose to continue selectively enforcing the
copyright in "Happy Birthday To You," for whatever reason, please
consider asking Congress to change copyright law to reflect the way that
most people view and interact with copyrighted works such as "Happy
Birthday."

Sincerely yours,
-->> YOUR NAME
-->> YOUR ADDRESS

[/ end Sarcasm]

Unhappy Birthday - The Smiths

This article by law professor Robert Brauneis has raised some important questions about the history of Happy Birthday.

Have a Happy Birthday

Here's a website which gives personalized birthday songs. Check if your name is there.
Otherwise, you can request a song for yourself free.

Funny Customer complaints received by ThomasCook

I'm not sure how true these are, but they are a good read.

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Thomas Cook (22 November 1808 – 18 July 1892) of Melbourne, Derbyshire, England founded the travel agency Thomas Cook & Son (popularly nicknamed Cook's Tours) that became Thomas Cook AG before eventually becoming Thomas Cook Group in 2007.

Thomas Cook Group plc is a British global travel company listed on the London Stock Exchange. It was formed on 19 June 2007 by the merger of Thomas Cook AG, itself the successor to Thomas Cook & Son, and MyTravel Group plc

Monday, May 25, 2015

How to mess with the color-blind - Gift ideas

If you can read what is written inside the color circle, you are color blind

There are some things colorblind people can't see. But it's not like they cannot see you if you wear a green shirt or something like that. Here are some images that the (red-green)colorblind cannot read.
That means protanopes and deuteranopes cannot read what is written on these images.

The colorblind are good people

There are t-shirts with the following image.

Are you colorblind. Then the above image says nothing.

There is another image which is supposedly visible ONLY to the colorblind, but it seems to be very difficult to read even for those who are colorblind. Apparently, there is a NO on it if you look hard enough.

Can you read what it says ? No ? Yes ? You mean No ?

But I'll show you an image which really is very easy to read for the colorblind. Only the colorblind can see the following two images.

The color Grue and the Russian blues - a color by any name

Today I learned that there is a word "Grue" which is a portmaneau of green and blue, used to stand for the entire spectrum between green and blue. Some people may even call it Bleen(Nelson Goodman)

It's pitch Black - You are likely eaten by a grue grue" part ocular bat", part "unusual hoon", and part man

This word is necessary because in several languages like ancient Japanese, Vietnamese, Egyptian and ancient Chinese, there are no separate words for Green and Blue.

For them, the grass and the sky are both different shades of the same color Grue. The traffic light too - they are blue for go in Japan.

Modern Japanese and Modern Chinese now have made separate words for blue and green - a side effect of the global nature of the modern world.

There are separate words in Modern Japanese for Blue 青(Ao) and Green 緑(Midori) since the time of the first world war. Midori(green) is the new color derived from the Japanese word for new plant shoots.

Mmeanwhile in Russia, Blue itself is divided into two - light blue (goluboy) and dark blue (siniy) are totally different colors. This piqued the curiosity of scientists who found that Russians were able to match colors faster in this area.

In most places, You split GRUE.
In Soviet Russia, You split BLUE.

Russian blues reveal effects of language on color discrimination(journal article)

Daredevil is Batman - or should be, and Ghost Rider is Daredevil

Have you ever wondered why Marvel's "Daredevil" - the blind comic book hero who navigated by sonar, is called Daredevil and NOT Batman. have you felt that Batman would be a more appropriate name for him ? Or even DolphinMan (maybe that is too much, but you get the point)

Buy Daredevil Comic Book here

By the way, Batman is from DC comics, another comic universe.

Ben Affleck played both Batman and Daredevil

Who deserves the name Daredevil ? Ghost Rider. Obviously. He is a former daredevil stunt biker who dared to make a deal with the devil to become - come on say it ... Ghost Rider ?

Here is a hilarious video explaining why their names are all wrong. Enjoy !

Blind as a ~~bat~~ Daredevil

Uses sonar like a ~~bat~~

Why is Marvel's Daredevil called so ?

Creator Stan Lee chose the name Daredevil because it evoked swashbucklers and circus daredevils, and he assigned Bill Everett, the creator of the Sub-Mariner to design and draw Daredevil #1
Daredevil's nickname is "the Man Without Fear".

Fake rock climbing

xkcd is a webcomic by Randall Munroe.

Today's comic was about fake facebook photos.

Is the boy really climing that rock face ? Nope. Its just the camera that's held titled.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Funniest craziest laws in the world

Thanks to Shaun Aisbitt for the compilation. Credits due to Shaun. (Da_Taxman)

Source.

America and Canada first, as they have an overwhelming amount of weird laws!. Further down the page are the Irish and English laws and then the rest of the world. If you come across any not listed here, changes of laws or corrections, please inform me giving some evidence (e.g.: a link, a scanned picture or article etc.). And please don't plagiarise this work as some other unscrupulous folks are doing, with some of my other articles. I work hard for this site to entertain and spread the Gospel as well as show that real Christians have a sense of humour.

Alabama

· It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

· Brewerton: Use of motor boats forbidden on city streets.

Alaska

· It is forbidden to push a moose out of a plane in motion.

· It is against the law to look at a moose from an airplane.

· Fairbanks: No moose is allowed to have sex on city streets.

Arizona

· Glendale: It is against the law for a car to back up.

· Mohave County: Anyone caught stealing a soap, must wash himself with it, until it's all used up.

Arkansas

· A man has a legal right to beat his wife, but only once a month.

· It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.

· Little Rock: Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets may result in a 30-day jail term....

California

· A woman cannot drive a car while she is dressed in a house-coat.

· It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.

· It is illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

· Belvedere: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."

· Blythe: A person must own at least two cows before he is permitted to wear cowboy boots in public.

· Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than 2000 sheep down Hollywood Boulevard simultaneously.

· L.A.: A man can legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than two inches wide, or she gives him permission to use a wider strap, preferably in advance.

· L.A.: You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

· L.A.: If robbing a bank, shooting at the teller with a water gun is prohibited.

· Oakland: Illegal to rob a birds nest from a public cemetery.

· Ventura County: Cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

Colorado

· Denver: It is illegal to mistreat rats.

· Denver: it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbour

· Logan County: Illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

· Pueblo: Illegal to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits.

· Sterling: Unlawful to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.

Connecticut

· You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

· Devon: it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset

· Hartford: Crossing the street walking on your hands is not allowed.

· Hartford: Illegal to educate dogs.

Delaware

· Lowes Crossroads: It is a violation of the local law for any pilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while either flying or waiting to board a plane.

District of Colombia

· It is unlawful for small boys to throw stones, at any time, at any place.

· Washington: The only acceptable sexual position is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

Florida

· Illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.

· Rats are forbidden from leaving the ships docked in Tampa Bay.

· An elephants tied to a parking meter must pay a regular parking fee.

· Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, and some may the salon owner.

· Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

· Hunting and killing a dear while swimming is illegal.

· You're not allowed to break more than three dishes a day, or chip the edge off more than four cups and/or saucers.

· Miami: Illegal to go around imitating animals.

· Saratoga: Illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.

Georgia

· It's unlawful for a barber to advertise his prices.

· It is a misdemeanour for any citizen to attend church worship on Sunday unless he is equipped with a rifle and it is loaded.

· Jonesboro: Forbidden to say "Oh, boy".

Hawaii

. It's against the law for a person to insert pennies in the ear

Idaho

· Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

· Coeur d'Alene: If police officers suspect a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

· Idaho Falls: Forbidden for anyone over the age of eighty-eight to ride a motorcycle.

· Wallace: Unlawful for anyone to sleep in a dog kennel.

Illinois

· Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister.

· It is against the law to speak English in Illinois.

· Prohibited to drive a car without a steering wheel.

· Chicago: Eating in a place that is on fire is forbidden.

· Cicero: Humming on public streets on Sundays prohibited.

· Evanston: Unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.

· Kenilworth: Roosters must be at least three hundred feet away from any residence if he wishes to crow.

. Hens that wish to cackle must be two hundred feet away from any residence.

· Oblong: It is a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.

· Urbana: No monster may enter the corporate limits.

· Zion: Illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.

Indiana

· Bathing is prohibited during the winter.

· Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.

· Elkhart: It is illegal for a barber to threaten to cut off a youngster's ears.

Iowa

· No kiss may last more than five minutes.

· Aimes: A husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife, or holding her hands.

· Ottumwa: "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted."

· Marshalltown, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants

Kansas

· Wichita: A father cannot frighten his daughter's boyfriend with a gun.

· Natoma, it's against the law to practice knife-throwing at men wearing striped suits.

· It's against the law to annoy squirrels in Topeka

Kentucky

· "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."

· An amendment to the above law: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."

· Forbidden to appear on the streets of any town or village in bathing dress without police protection.

· Transport of an ice cream cone in your pocket is prohibited.

· Anyone who has been drinking is sober until s/he "cannot hold onto the ground".

· Everyone must take a bath at least once a year.

Louisiana

· In Louisiana, biting someone with your natural teeth is considered 'simple assault' while biting someone with your false teeth is 'aggravated assault'.

Maine

· Rumford: Illegal to bite the landlord, no matter how much he deserves it.

Maryland

· It is illegal to mistreat oysters.

· Baltimore: Illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.

· Baltimore: Illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.

· Baltimore: Illegal to take a lion to the movies.

· Halethrope: Illegal to kiss for more than one second.

Massachusetts

· Christmas was outlawed in 1659.

· It is forbidden to put tomatoes in clam chowder.

· It is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies.

· All dogs required to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.

· Cooling one's feet by hanging them out the window is forbidden.

· Law declares that peanuts may not be eaten in court.

· Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.

· Snoring is illegal unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

· Goatees are illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

· Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

· Boston: Illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered by a physician to do so.

· Brockton: Any person need a license before they are permitted to enter a sewer.

· Fitchburg: Barbers are not allowed to carry combs in back of their ears.

· Holyoke: It is unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining.

· Salem: Even married couples are forbidden from sleeping nude in rented rooms.

· Southbridge: Illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.

Michigan

· A woman's hair legally belongs to her husband, consequently she's not allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

· If any man kisses his wife on Sunday, the party at fault shall be punished at the discretion of the court.

· Detroit: Couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

· Rochester: Anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer.

Minnesota

· Alexandria: Illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines. The wife can by law force her husband to brush her teeth.

· Blue Earth: Law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless accompanies by a parent.

Missouri

· Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they can, however, buy shotguns freely.

· Merryville: Women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

· St. Louis: Illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.

Montana

· Bozeman: You can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude (socks is OK).

· Helena: A woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.

Nebraska

· A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.

· A motorist approaching a horse at night must send up warning red rockets and Roman candles, throw a scenic tarpaulin over his car to conceal it from the horse, and take his machine apart and hide the parts in the grass it the tarpaulin doesn't soothe the horse.

· Hastings: Hotel owners are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.

· Omaha: It is against the law for a barber to shave a man's chest.

Nevada

· It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

· Sex without a condom is considered illegal.

· Eureka: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

New Hampshire

· It is against the law to tap your feet, nod your head or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant or cafe.

New Jersey

· Cresskill: Cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.

· Liberty Corner: Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail.

· Trenton: Unlawful to throw any tainted pickles in the streets (good pickles, however).

New Mexico

· Carlsbad: During lunch breaks no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

· Carrizozo: It is forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).

New York

· Albany: Disallowed to play golf in the streets.

· Carmel: A man cannot go outside wearing unmatching jacket and pants.

· Greene: Illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalk during a concert.

· NYC: Illegal for a man to turn around and look "at a woman in that way", and violators are forced to wear horse blinders.

· Rochester: Firemen must wear ties while on duty.

· It's against the law in New York City to open or close an umbrella in the presence of a horse.

North Carolina

· It is illegal to take a dear swimming in water above its knees.

· Asheville: You can't sneeze on the streets.

· Barber: Cats and dogs are not allowed to fight.

· Thomasville: No airplanes are allowed to fly over the town on Sundays during the hours between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m.

· Winston-Salem: It is against the law for children under seven years of age to go to college.

North Dakota

· Beer and pretzels cannot be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

· Illegal to go to bed wearing boots or shoes.

Ohio

· Berea: Any animal that is out after dark must have a tail light.

· Cleveland: Women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.

· Cleveland: Operating a motor vehicle while sitting in another person's lap is forbidden.

· Oxford: Illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.

· Paulding: A policeperson may bite a dog to quiet him.

· Portsmouth: The law ranks baseball players with "vagrants, thieves and other suspicious characters."

· Youngstown: Running out of gas is illegal.

· If you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.

Oklahoma

· Criminals can be fined, arrested or jailed for making faces at a dog.

· Whale hunting is strictly forbidden throughout the entire state.

· Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.

· Dogs need a mayor-signed permit to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

· Clinton: Masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car is forbidden.

· Tulsa: Kisses lasting more than three minutes are forbidden.

· Tulsa: Against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.

Oregon

· A dead person cannot be required to serve on a jury.

· Use of canned corn in fishing is illegal.

· Hood River: You can't juggle without a license.

· Willowdale: No man may curse while having sex with his wife.

Pennsylvania

· "Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue."

· Housewives may not hide dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.

· No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

· Danville: All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.

· Harrisburg: Illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

· York: You can't sit down while watering your lawn with a hose.

Rhode Island

· Newport: Illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.

· Province: Illegal to sell toothpaste and toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

South Carolina

· Fountain Inn: Horses were once required to wear pants at all times.

South Dakota

· Sioux Falls: Hotels are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.

Tennessee

· It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

· It is illegal to drive a car while sleeping.

· You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.

· Dyersburg: Illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.

· Memphis: Illegal for a woman to drive by herself; "a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists if the vehicle is going over 5 mph".

· Oneida: Forbidden to sing the song "It Ain't Goin' To Rain No Mo'".

Texas

· Criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

· Illegal to raise alligators in your home.

· When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

· You need a five-dollar permit to go barefoot.

· Kingsville: Two pigs cannot have sex on the city's airport property.

· Lefors: Illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.

· San Antonio: Illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

Utah

· Birds have the right of way on all highways.

· A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.

· Utah state legislation outlaws all sex with anyone but your spouse.

· Adultery, oral and anal sex, masturbation are considered sodomy and can lead to imprisonment.

· Sex with an animal - unless performed for profit - however is NOT considered sodomy.

· Polygamy - provided only the missionary position has been applied - is only a misdemeanour.

· Tremonton: No woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.

· Trout Creek: Pharmacists may not sell gun powder as a headache cure.

. Preaching or sharing (discussing) the Christian Gospel in Temple Sq Salt Lake City is illegal

Vermont

· It is obligatory for everyone to take at least one bath each week, on Saturday night.

· Rutland: Cars are forbidden from backfiring.

Virginia

· The statute of The Virginia Code: "To prohibit corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than candidates."

· Norfolk: No woman may go in public without wearing a corset.

· Norton : It's against the law to tickle a girl.

Washington

· All lollipops are forbidden.

· Having sex with a virgin is illegal under any circumstances (including the wedding night).

· "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."

· Seattle: Goldfish can ride the city buses in bowls only if they kept still.

· Seattle: You may not carry a concealed weapon that is longer than six feet.

· Wilbur: Illegal to ride upon the streets on an ugly horse.

West Virginia

· Children may not attend school if their breath's smelling "wild onions".

· Peewee: It is illegal to let your horse fall asleep in the airport.

Wisconsin

· Connersville: No man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

· Racine: Illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.

Wyoming

· Newcastle: Couples are banned from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer.

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Canada

(With apologies to all our Canadian Brothers and Sisters, especially friends in Chatham and Guelph (You too Stephen!)

· 30% of a radio stations content must be "Canadian Content"

· You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.

· Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.

· It is illegal for clear or non-dark sodas to contain caffeine.

Alberta Provincial Laws

· Businesses must provide rails for tying up horses.

· Wooden logs may not be painted.

· It is illegal to set fire to the wooden leg of a wooden legged man

· You may never use dice to play craps.

City Laws

· If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.

British Columbia Provincial Laws

· It is illegal to kill a sasquatch.

New Brunswick Provincial Laws

· Driving on the roads is not allowed.

Nova Scotia Provincial Laws

· When raining, a person may not water his/her lawn.

Ontario Provincial Laws

· The speed limit is 80 kph for cars, but bicyclists have the right of way.

City Laws

Etobicoke

· Bylaw states that no more than 3.5 inches of water is allowed in a bathtub.

Cobourg

· If you have a water trough in your front yard it must be filled by 5:00 a.m.

Gananoque

· Homeowners are responsible for clearing snow off of municipal sidewalks.

Guelph

· The city is classified as a no-pee zone.

Kanata

· The colour of house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws (a purple door get you a fine). It is also illegal to have a clothes line in your backyard.

· You can't work on your car in the street.

Oshawa

· It's illegal to climb trees.

· Homeowners are responsible for clearing snow off of municipal sidewalks. If sidewalks is not cleaned within 24 hours after a snowfall, city workers will clean it and the cost will be placed on the homeowners tax bill.

Ottawa

· It is illegal to eat ice-cream on Bank Street on a Sunday.

Toronto

· You can't drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday.

Uxbridge

· Residents are not allowed to have an Internet connection faster than 56k.

Wawa

· You may not paint a ladder as it will be slippery when wet.

· It is illegal to show public affection on Sunday.

Quebec Provincial Laws

· It is illegal to turn right on a red light at any time.

· All business signs in the province of Quebec must be in French. If the business operator wishes to have English on the sign, the French must be at least twice as large as the English is. There are no laws governing the usage of other languages on signs. -Bill 101 (Passed 1976)

· No language other than French is permitted to be shown out doors.

City Laws

Beaconsfield

· It is considered an offence to have more than two colours of paint on your house.

· You may not own a log cabin.

Montréal

· The Queen Elizabeth Hotel must feed your horse freely when you rent a room.

· You may not wash your car in the street.

· You may not park a car in such a way that it is blocking your own driveway.

· "For Sale" signs are not permitted in the windows of moving vehicles.

· Cars parked in public places must be locked, and their windows must be down to less than the width of a hand.

· One's rear license plate may not be protected by glass or plastic.

· You may not swear in French.

· Citizens may not relieve themselves or spit on the street. Punishable by a fine of over 100 Canadian dollars.

Outremont

· Not only do all exterior painting jobs require a permit (for colour) but, for instance, the City went to Appeals Court over the exact type of division inside a window frame.

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Even Ireland has some weird laws!:

It is illegal for a student to walk through Trinity College without a sword.

In Trinity college students can demand a glass of wine at any time during an exam, provided they are wearing their sword.

It is illegal to smoke any form of tobacco on Grafton St. in Dublin

Practicing or pretending to practice any form of witchcraft or occult arts (that includes horoscopes, tarot cards, crystal ball reading, palmistry, reading tea leaves, iridology, divination etc). This also includes healing by occult means (that would include Reki, energy balancing, acupuncture or acupressure, yoga and many other new age pseudo scientific methods which have their roots in eastern religions) is punishable by being locked in the stocks of outside of Dublin Castle (roughly around the Temple Bar area) for 6 months and rotten fruit can be pelted at the culprit. (anyone want to rat out fabulous Fergus or the operators on the tarot line who's advert is shown on TV all the time!)

England has some pretty dangerous laws too!

England

· With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.

· All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

· London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

· It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

· It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

· A Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated.

· A bed may not be hung out of a window.

· It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

· Mince pies are not to be eaten on Christmas Day.

· Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin.

· It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

· Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.

· It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

· If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passers-by.

· All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.

· You may not make out in public.

· It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

· Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.

· Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.

· Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.

. Freemen (or women) of the city of London (Those who have had the honour of the freedom of the city bestowed upon them) have the right to heard their cattle over any of London's bridges at any time)

Chester

· You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

Hereford

· You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.

Liverpool

· It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store, or in a bank if handling foreign currency.

London

· Companies may vote in local elections.

York

· Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow

Scotland:

You may not fish on Sundays.

It is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow.

Trespassing on someone else's land is legal.

You are presumed guilty until proven innocent for some crimes.

If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

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Australia:

· A life sentence is 200 years.

· Children may not purchase cigarettes, condoms or alcohol, but they may use them.

· You may never leave your car keys in the door of an unattended vehicle.

· It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.

· It is illegal to dress up as batman

· It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath.

· Under Australian Communications Authority (ACA) regulations, a modem can't pick up on the first ring. If it does the, ACA permit for your modem is invalid and there's a $12,000 fine. -Telecommunications Act 1991.

· Taxi cabs are required to carry a bale of hay in the trunk.

· Bars are required to stable, water and feed the horses of their patrons.

· The legal age for straight sex is 16, unless the person is in the care/custody of the older person, in which case it is 18.

Victoria

· Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb. The fine for not abiding by this law is 10 pounds.

· It is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday.

· You must have a neck to knee swimsuit in order to swim at Brighton Beach.

Tasmania

· Until the Port Arthur Killings it was legal to own an AK-47 but not legal to be gay

Belgium:

A driver who needs to turn through oncoming traffic has the right of way unless he slows down or stops.

In Antwerp it is illegal to wear a red hat and walk down the main street (Het Meyer)

China

· You may only have one child, or you will have to pay a fine.

· To go to college you must be intelligent.

Beijing

· Drivers of power-driven vehicles who stop at pedestrian crossings are liable to a fine of up to five yen, or a warning. -Article 40 of the Beijing Traffic Laws.

Denmark

· Before starting your car you are required to check lights, brakes, steering and honk your horn. Try that at 4:00am!) You also need to make a visual check to make sure there are no children underneath the car.

· If your vehicle stalls and you leave it on the side of the road, you must mark the vehicle with a red, reflecting triangle. This equipment is only mandatory when the car stalls, not at any other times, however.

· If a horse drawn carriage is trying to pass a car and the horse becomes uneasy, the owner of the car is required to pull over and if necessary, cover the car.

· Attempt to escape from prison is not illegal, however, if one he is caught he is required to serve out the remainder of his term.

· No one may start a car while someone is underneath the vehicle.

· Encrypting data files, owning, distributing etc. of encryption programs and creating such programs for any electronic medias is now against the law in Denmark due to fear for terrorists, left and right wing extremist, fundamentalists and distributors of illegal pornography.

· Headlights must be on whenever a vehicle is being operated in order to distinguish it from parked cars.

· When driving, you must have someone in front of your car with a flag to warn horse drawn carriages that a motorcar is coming.

· Any carport added to a building increases the value of the building by 15.5 times the cost of building the addition.

· There is a penalty of 20kr for not reporting when a person has died.

France:

· Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of music on the radio must be by French artists.

· It is illegal to kiss o

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Dr Gregory House MD's unforgettable quotes

“I teach you to lie, cheat, and steal, and as soon as my back's turned you wait in line?”

“Like I always say, there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up.”

“So what's your plan? You take the big dark one, I'll take the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things get tough.”

[Houses' patient has just collapsed] "This is exactly why I created nurses. Clean up on aisle three!”

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

"You talk to God, you're religious; God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"Treating illness is why we became doctors. Treating patients is actually what makes most doctors miserable."

"Truth begins in lies"

"Humanity is overrated"

"Reality is almost always wrong"

"It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."

"I was never that great at math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?"

"There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is - in fact - a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate."

(to Foreman) "So your solution is to give me drugs?"

"That's exactly why you aren't allowed to touch my markers"
"This is the only me you get"
"Candy CANES?? Are you mocking me?"
I wash before and after.(While walking to the urinal with Cuddy in the bathroom, just after washing his hands.)
"(knocks on Wilson's door and he doesn't answer) I know you're in there! I can hear you *caring*."
"I cleverly have no personal life."

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Vodafone ZooZoo's Wallpaper Downloads, free emoticons

Zoozoos are people too ...

Have you seen the Vodafone Ads with animated cartoon characters with an alien look or simply a stupid egg-head character with disproportional white bodies and black dots for eyes and mouth ?

Here is a link to the videos if you want to see them.

http://johndasfundas.blogspot.com/2009/05/all-vodafone-zoozoo-ipl-ads-in-one-must.html

Well, they are NOT animated ! And they are not stupid either ...

And have become a sensation in cricket crazy India, being watched with as much interest as the 20-20 IPL matches themselves.
What was the Hutch / Orange / Vodafone Dog's name ?

And Zoozoos have replaced the good old Hutch pug ‘Chika’ who was later replaced by "Spikey".

Chitika was they dog in "Wherever you go, our network follows", by Hutch (earlier Orange, now Vodafone).

What are those white coloured eggheads called ?

"zoozoos"
These Zoo Zoos Vodafone TV ads may resemble animated cartoon creatures, but they are people too. Some Mumbai actresses (yeah, but not Bollywood) are in those costumes and it is shot in an oversized ad film set.

It was created by the creative team at Ogilvy and Mather (O&M) India.

The Vodafone company plans to air 30 different commercials featuring the Zoozoos during the Indian Premier League’s (IPL) Twenty20 cricket series .

Several characters were drawn up and considered by executive creative director (South Asia) Rajiv Rao and his team at O&M India, before they settled in on Zoozoo.

“We were very close to what you see as the final version of Zoozoo. The only difference was that we had two options, one that looked more like Mr. Potato Head, a completely round body with thin limbs… the other, a thinner version with a big head and scrawny limbs. We picked the latter as it was easier to have head and body movements in that costume,” says Rao.

And then, in two-and-a-half months, the agency had to come up with the films, each of which is 20-30 seconds long.

“We had to shoot, edit and finish sound recording for 30 different television commercials in 10 days. The whole thing, pre-production included, took a little over a month and was shot completely in Cape Town, South Africa,” says Rao.

Zoozoos are not animated characters but are actually slim women actors from local Mumbai theatres, dressed in white costumes that are stuffed with foam to portray the characters.

Ideaz